My Weight My Fault

Today I find myself blaming my weight for a certain event that has transpired over the weekend. When ever I feel rejection it is the first place I go to. I think to myself maybe if I wasn't a blob of a girl they would like me. I live in a real world where people love the outside sometimes before they take notice of the inside. I hate it and it hurts because I have so much to give but I find myself standing alone.

It's my weight and my fault no one sticks around.

Not Satisfied

I have been on my quest for a while now. I still am not sure how much weight I have lost, but I am pretty sure I have lost some. I am still not satisfied after seeing some recent photos. I feel a lot better since I have started my quest. I have so much more energy now. Being that I am not satisfied I will continue my quest.

Taking Notice

People are finally starting to notice my weight loss. I get remarks like "hey you have lost weight" or "I can tell your losing weight by your face is showing it." I am happy it means my efforts are not in vain. I have really been trying to get healthy on the inside and outside.

6 Miles

I have walked a total of 6 miles and the week just started. I am proud of myself for sticking with it. People are starting to take notice that the pounds are dropping and I am noticing my clothes are bigger.
I recently had a memory jar in my head a while back. A long time ago a guy I dated thought I was getting a bit bigger, well too much bigger for his taste. He told me to lose weight and he promised if I did he would buy me a new wardrobe. We will never be back together but I am wondering if he will keep his promise.

Pictures of the Past.

Well I went to my dads not so long ago to visit my brother. That in itself was hard to deal with thank goodness my dad wasn't there. I started looking at the family photos that were hanging and saw one of me from a few years back. Viewing them was very difficult. I was extremely skinny and unhealthy but to be honest looking back at them brought me some happiness. I was happy with the outside of my body then. Looking at them makes it hard not to fall into the habits that I was in to get that way. I fight everyday some times but I know that I can't go back. My body couldn't handle it.

Look on the Inside

I am still on my quest to lose weight. Not only have I been analyzing the outside of my body but the inside as well. A friend said to me this week, "your weight isn't the main issue there are things on the inside bringing you down."There are things that I need to work on. First and foremost I am not always right, and secondly I need not take to heart everything says to me. There are people in this world who speak some times without thinking.

Think Before They Speak

I really wish people would take under consideration what they say. I have had some hurtful things said to me about my weight whether intentionally or unintentionally.

For instance I was leaving work the other day and my co-workers had bought ice cream for every one to enjoy. I decided to pass on the ice cream because I have been trying hard to eat healthier. Well when my co-worker found out, they acted like they couldn't believe I turned down ice cream because I was fat. I mean they were in total shock. It hurt my feelings.

I wished sometimes people would think before they speak.